Comfort Zone

I love running into old friends. Most of them are pretty similar to what they used to be when I knew them before. Not that I would dislike knowing someone who has grown or changed, depending on the change I suppose, because people flow and sometimes you find you have more in common later then you did before. I would say both statements are true in regards to Dougie. He is a good deal the same as I remember him being and yet so much of him has changed as well. I ran into him about a year ago and neither of us made the move to try and speak to the other, almost like a passing thought. I hate when that happens. I dislike saying I will call and then never get around to it or just plain forget. I forget often. So a year goes by and I didn't talk with him at all but then a couple weeks ago I ran into him at Fred Meyers. We stood around in the parking lot just chatting away, like not a day had gone by, though so obviously it had, we both had our ups and downs and we are almost relatively in the same place now. Life has a funny way of taking you on weird bends.

Last night I went to see him for a bit, in the evening, because I had gone the night before and forgotten my glasses. We sat around shooting the breeze and talking about our days and our kids and relating old stories and talking about scars. When I left I just sat in my car for a bit, thinking about what time it was and how the 3 hours I had spent that evening had flown by even though I had felt like time was dragging on earlier in the day. I hadn't realize how much I enjoyed being around him. I miss him a great deal when he isn't here and I had so much trouble walking out the door last night, I could have easily fallen asleep right there, probably would have been the best nights rest I would have had in weeks.

He has, so very easily, become my shoulder. When I'm stressed about divorce issues or the kids or my family, all I have to do is give him a call and he listens to me rant and rave like a lunatic. The day I went to get the divorce papers I gave him a text saying I needed a hug and asking if I could have one, and there he was, at my door when I got home in the evening waiting to do just that. So why can't I find someone who loves me who is willing to do such things?

One hour isn't all that long of a travel time, people sometimes do just that much for work every day, but its a great deal of time when you used to be able to see the person any time after work in under 15 minutes, it means no more weekday visits, no more hanging out in the evenings. I have a feeling I'm going to be ridiculously bored without my friend around. I think, of all things that will be the worse part of this move. It almost feels like I'm losing him right after I just found him.

Most of my close friends are here, or near here, I didn't even stop to think how I would feel about it when/if the military sends me somewhere else as my station duty. I'm not scared to be on my own. I make friends easily. I'm not saying I want to stay static, I have always yearned for adventure, and whats more adventurous then stepping out into the unknown by ones self. However, I didn't think I would miss my comfort zone so much, though it isn't even gone yet, specially now when he has been added to it.