My knee has been hurting, it was swollen and the muscles around it ached. I have no idea why it's that way but there has been no working out while waiting for it to feel better. I feel pathetic not doing anything, I always seem to have spurts of feeling like an invalid. I could barely walk, even sitting hurt, so there wasn't much chance of running or sit ups. I swear I can feel the weight being put back on, doesn't help that since I'm the family cook and I couldn't really stand around doing that that there has been no decent healthy meals. I feel terrible when I can't work out at night. It's funny, isn't it, there were nights I felt too tired to do anything or too lazy, so I didn't but not even having the option to work out feels horrid. It's like feeling hungry when there is no food to eat but having passed up food the day before. It's sucks so much because I am not at all physically fit, as it stands, and so getting back into working out is going to take some serious effort. It's like starting all over again from the beginning each time I have to take a step back.
I have finished the kids costumes. I've mentioned them before but I actually got around to them. It took me a couple hours three days in a row to finish them. I think they turned out pretty well for not having any drive or want or patterns to do them with. The kids are happy with them, which is what matters anyways. I always liked homemade costumes better, they have more heft to them, the fabric used in the mass produced ones are always so cheap and break so easily, the kids play with the homemade ones for the entire year most of the time, and they really last through the beating. I suppose if anyone goes to the link they will hear on repeat but it begs that I should restate some things here. Like I mentioned, I don't use patterns, I have never learned how to use them and so when I sew I usually just do it by visually seeing something and manufacturing a "pattern" that works to make it look the same. It's a terrible way to sew and I have asked many times to be taught how to use a pattern but that has come to no avail. The strawberry shortcake costume was actually the easier of the two. I sewed the skirt onto an already made white shirt to save on making sleeves more then once. Lazy way of doing things but it looks good so I personally don't care. I couldn't for the life of me find any tights that were green and white, I looked in many stores, and so I bought a can of fabric spray paint stuff and had at a pair of white ones with some tape. I think they turned out pretty good considering. I have never made a hat before and I have to say it was surprisingly easy. It's a bit floppy but she said she liked it that way. The scream costume was a pain to figure out. I have never done sleeves before, so it was much harder to understand then I thought it would be, the hood was relatively easy though and I think it turned out well, specially since he wanted it to point in the back and I managed that pretty flawlessly. I haven't done anything for my costume but I think I will just be a pirate, all stuff I can find in my closet.
I have yet to find a job, it's getting down to the wire and I'm slowly getting more stressed by it. I need one. I need to find a way to pay my bills and feed my kids. Thank god I don't have to worry about rent yet. I keep turning in applications but the same problems arise as before. It's tiring and frustrating and just adds to an already long list of worries.
I still haven't carved my pumpkin, I think I might get to that once I'm done posting, but who knows maybe I'll just make pumpkin pies with it. I so haven't been in the spirit. I haven't really been in the spirit to do much of anything. I'm so very tired all the time, not physically, though that does happen when I have next to nothing to do, specially with my leg the way it has been, but emotionally, just drained of all ability and want to care. It doesn't help that all my problems seem to be converging on me at the same time. Let's hope that this is the one time in my life I truly feel like Atlas.
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