Friday -
So my grandmother calls me and reminds me of the party for my sister on Sunday and asks if I will make the dessert for it. Sure, no problem.
Saturday -
I have never has so much trouble with a cake my entire life. I'm was fighting what felt like a losing battle to the baked goods. I had to restart the base cake three times. First time all the flour settled for some reason instead of mixing in... weird. Big clumps of flour at the bottom of the cake, gross. The second time the cake came out almost runny, I left it in for almost 20 minutes extra and it solidified into a sheet brick. The last time it turned out, a bit overly moist but okay. Ive made this particular cake recipe more then a few times... what the deuce. So then I made the berry mousse. I cut back on the gelatin put in, since there was also pectin from the berries, I wanted it to be more creamy then solid, and yet... it still became exceedingly stiff. At this point I'm smashing my head against the table. I rolled them up, since I was making it like a jelly roll just with mousse inside instead of jelly, and took them anyways. Orange chiffon cake with a berry mousse center. I slept maybe two hours, since I kept having to remake the stupid cake part.
Sunday -
I go to my grandmothers house for my sisters goodbye party. I would like to put in that everyone liked the cake, even though I was very unhappy with its turn out, letting it sit out of the fridge helped the mousse soften a bit and the cake came together nicely. It did have good flavor, I was just so frustrated with it that I didn't much care at that point. I took my ASVAB book and just sat around studying. I don't really speak with my family much. It's been that way for years. Plus, most questions were about my sister anyways. Which means they should have been directed to her. The day was pleasant enough, though we left second to last. My sister was trying to spend time with her favorite aunt and I was her ride, I didn't mind. So we are driving back so I can drop her off at her boyfriend's house and I get a text. Its The Shoulder and he is having a crappy day. I know how that goes. My sister says she would like to stop off at my house first to say a goodbye to the kids, okay. So we get there, my mom opens the door, as I had a physical therapy appointment the next day and she was going to watch the kids for me, so she was spending the night. We drop the kids off, they go to bed, and I take my sad sister over to her boyfriends. I finally get to look at my message from The Shoulder and I make my way to his place. Sometimes you just need a hug. So I knock on the door and I give him a big hug and ask if he would like to talk at all, we chatted for a bit and then I went home. Brewski and mom were there and I came in and both of them made fun of me and kept making "Oooh, you were with The Shoulder" comments. We then started watching League of Extraodinary Crapness, I fell asleep partway through. It was 3 am.
Monday -
The morning seemed a bit shammed, I mean, I don't even remember doing much. My appointment rolls around and I head off to it, we did mostly leg work, my legs were killing me by the end of it. I got home and The British Man, The British Echo and CSI stopped by for a bit. 15 minutes later they were out the door and I was fielding phone calls. As if everyone in the universe was conspiring to make me late to my friends birthday party by calling me all at once. Random bursts of popularity always abound at the most inconvenient times. I finally get dressed and out the door and make my way to The Shoulder's place, pick them up and we head off to the party. Its fun seeing people you haven't seen in a long time. I miss a great deal of them, I will severely wonder what I've gotten myself into when I cant even see them anymore. The party was fun, even though I spent most of it running around after kidlets, though I'm used to that. It's weird sitting in a party and everyone assuming you are with someone else. I've never had that happen before. The Shoulder and I are comfortable with each other but not dating. We get along and just naturally help each other out. "here, hold my glass" "here is your drink" sort of thing, we are just used to it. I suppose from the outside it could have looked as if we could have been. Everyone asked though, in the end, to make sure if we were or weren't. I didn't think that would happen, I mean we spent most of the party not even talking to one another. I helped with Dougalug but only because he also helped keep my kids fielded, give and take sort of thing. We left kind of early, as he had to wake up early in the morning and the kidlets were already getting antsy. I managed to grab a few phone number two off and went home. I sent a couple text so they would have my number as well and The Physicist called, we planned a get together to watch a movie, so maybe on Thursday I will see him. Depends on transportation.
Tuesday -
I cleaned for a bit but lost my will after some time. I think waited around for when it was time to go. We met up the The British Man, CSI, The British Echo and The Mezikan at Southcenter Mall. We walked around for a bit and helped CSI pick clothes to buy with her gift card. We ate dinner and say goodbyes. I didn't think the last time I would see my sister would be a simple goodbye at a Mall but such is the case. I will miss her like crazy, she is so much more then just my sister. She is one of my best friends. It's going to be hard not seeing her at all for so long. Two years or more. ;-;
Done nothing so far today, god I'm feeling lazy, so very lazy. None of these things are helping me get closer to my goal. Mostly they are just distractions, I worked out on Monday and I'm going to tonight but I didn't on Tuesday or any time this last weekend. Whats gotten into me. I really want to do this but I keep shamming out of it. I have been studying though, pretty diligently, which is a plus. I think with CSI gone and no one to really be around that Ill be able to just fall into a pattern of just constantly studying, working out and packing. It's getting closer and closer to the deadline I set for myself and I still feel so far behind. Maybe I'm more worried about the changes taking place then I originally thought I was. I have no clue. I want to move forward, so why am I holding myself back so much?
I should do something today, even if its just a tiny little bit of cleaning. Try to get myself back into it. Plus, I don't want it a dump if The Physicist comes tomorrow.
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