Under some curse

I really haven't been paying attention to my computer lately. I still have nothing to do but mostly I'm in one of those moments where everything seems a bit less fun then usual and when I'm like that, even normal things don't garner my attention. Case in point, hadn't checked my email in a couple days. Don't talk to most of my friends unless they have a phone which can text me and this blog sits dormant. (remember when I was all gung-ho on this thing, yeah, probably not going to be like that ever again)

However, there has been some developments in my life worthy of noting:

I did go see that recruiter, this whole blog was started because I wanted something I knew was going to be hard to attain, he pretty much told me it was impossible, unless I give up my kids. Since thats never going to happen, I suppose joining will never happen either. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that yet...

However, since I can't see myself joining anytime soon I need to make other plans. My grandmother called the other day and asked about how much it would take to go to the local community college here for this baking and pastry course. I have no idea but I made an appointment to find out. I go on Thursday. I'm terribly excited.

I wrote some terribly emo poetry recently and did a drawing for a friend for his birthday. I shall post the picture of it later once he has gotten it, no need ruining a surprise. I shall be posting it tomorrow, I hope it gets there okay, it has a long way to travel.

Cards

by ~Katalalyn

You dealt them out
as I looked on dismay
I am not one for games
You asked my hand
and I laid them before you
And now I am out
watching from the side
my cards shuffled into your deck
used to swindle the next in line.

Questions

by ~Katalalyn

The butterflies flutter
The soft tickle a side effect of their intricate internal dance
The mere thought of you giving them leave to take flight
When did it become so that my day is filled with only you?
Where is my ability to see more than just from when we say goodbye
till when we can be together again?
So when did it become that it is I, not you, who sits in anguish
wishing and willing your return?
Was it just for the conquest that you did all this?
Has the luster gone so soon?
It was you who sought me out
You who professed an unyielding and undying love
You who chipped away at my resolve to flee
Yet it is you in the fortress and I banging on the gate to be let in
Why do this if not to mean it?
Why bother if only for the high of being able to say you have power over I
I no longer see the claims of want or need
How is that possible when you turn from me at any chance
That I need you more than you shall ever need me
still burns away at the edges of my being
Why would you say such things?
Did you not know their true meaning?
Did you not understand what you dove into?
Could you not see the power they hold
or is it that you knew all too well
and it is I who foolishly turned a blind eye to the truth

The British Echo is in for the next couple of weeks. So The British Twins will be over for tea and funtimes sometime next week. I'm excited to have my twins back, even if just for a short time.

On the last note, I seriously hate toys and socks. That may seem like strange objects to hate but hear me out. Most of the time, since I have no job and no money and go nowhere, I spend my days in my pajamas, without socks on since I hate them, but the other day I was wearing normal clothes and socks, of all things. It was sunny out and I took the kids to the ridiculously made playground down the street. This thing, I'm sure Ive mentioned it before, was seriously not built for children, its like an adults playground but with less entertaining things for an adult to do on it, however since it's the only playground around I figured I might as well. To go to a playground, though, you need real clothes on and real shoes, blasphemy really, and so I got all decked out. The time there was perfect, they played, there was lots of laughter, and then we came home. Once we did I asked them to pick up their toys from downstairs and take them to their room. While they were gathering their toys I went upstairs to the bathroom, and when I was done I went to walk downstairs to check how they were doing. On the 4th stair down was a MIA toy and lucky for my I stepped right on it. Normally this would just annoy me as it would hurt my foot but since we don't wear shoes in the house I was just delighted to find my sock slipped on it. I'm pretty quick with my reflexes and I leaned back, trying to sit down, stead of fall face forward straight into the floor, but since I was wearing jeans, which are longer than most of my pajama pants I ended up going into a knee slide. When I was a kid, I used to slide down the stairs for fun, on my knees sometimes, what in world was I thinking? Riding down the stairs on my shins is not in fact a good time. Things only went from bad to worse from there because eventually my pants remembered they were made of jean and decided to catch on the carpet and I was jolted forward. I didn't want to smash my face into the floor so much less like a ninja and more like a person in desperate want to keep their one pretty feature I turned which inevitably smashed all of my left side into the stairs below. I hit my head on the wall and finally managed to push on the walls, which jammed both a finger and toe and stop myself slightly, at which point I got into a sitting position once more and slid down the last two or three stairs to the floor below. My whole left side has continued to hurt the last couple of days, with a headache that wont quit and it doesn't help that I have a head cold as well. I can't believe the situations I manage to get myself into, not drunk and I fall down stairs. I'm so used to it now that I'm very nonchalant about it. I told my parents on the phone and it was all "so, I fell down the stairs, nothing in the house is broken, and nothing else to report." and there was this "What? You fell down the stairs! Is anything on you broken?" "Nah, I'm fine."

Other than that, not much has happened.