So on to other things. My mother left on an airplane, and though I know when she will be back again, its been nice having the break from her. The whole day after she left, I spent sort of sitting around meditating. This great feeling of relief came over me. It sounds terrible and wrong but without her around most of the external stress I had been feeling is gone. I wake up and want to clean, instead of wanting to stay away in my room hiding.
I recently became a year older. I have no issue with age, getting older is just a natural course, and since I already feel like I am in my late 40's, it feels more like I'm just catching up. However I do not care for the fact that I've gotten next to nothing done with my life, this does bother me, it is something I need to work on. However, I got many gifts, which I did not expect. Between CSI and Brewski I got a good addition to my baking arsenal. CSI got me a stainless steal French rolling pin, a pie bird, and some pie weights. Brewski got me boards for cakes, a frosting tip, a package of silicone baking cups and the movie Coming to America. Besides those, I also got two Kinect games, Your Shape and Dance Central from my Poppi. Oklahoma Oklahoma Oklahoma sent me a gift basket filled with chocolate. My grandmother sent me a 25 dollar gift check, so in essence she bought me Castle or Firefly, whichever, and I bought myself the other. Lost and Found bought me a Deadpool magnet, which is awesome. Shyness sent pictures, which was so out of character. I made out like a bandit, I didn't expect such an outpouring of attention and love. It made this birthday highly unexpected. For years its been forgotten, from my family to my ex, it sort of just became another day, it seems weird that now, of all times, it would somehow become prominent again. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something, giving me the one thing I need the most, that outpouring of shows of affection that I have felt missing my from life, as if to tell me "nothing is as bad as it seems" or maybe a little more "everything comes full circle" Who knows.
Full circle seems to be the theme of this year so far. So many moments of that happening. Lost and Found being one of the more obvious of these. Many years ago I had a friend and this friend and I lost contact with one another. Time went on and we grew older and I, like a stubborn mule, didn't bother to change my screen name, so a couple weeks ago there was a message for me, and we talked and met. It's strange though, thinking on it, I've known more than a few people for a long time and still haven't met up with them. It's weird then, re-meeting someone after so long, still getting along with them, and then spending some decent quality time with that person. Lost and Found came over for my birthday and stayed a few days, we cooked many good meals and spent funtimes just chatting and enjoying each others company.
Other than that, I found my wallet. It seems mildly comical as to where I found but the fact that it was there at all just confounds me. It was, or so it seems, behind the couch the entire time. However this seems mildly impossible as I looked both behind and under the couch while searching for it and have looked behind the couch many times in the last couple of months since it went missing and have never once seen it there before. It's as if it just magically appeared there for me to find. It was beyond strange and I have come to the conclusion that the couches have worm holes connected to them that take many months for something that falls in on one side to come out of on the other. This, or ghosts, are the only ways to explain it.
Though I am back and it has literally taken me all day to write this little, besides the angry rantings I would have done, I also seem to be having a bit of writers block, as if the words just refuse to come forth. Maybe I should try writing a story, this sometimes help, though all my stories seem to be romance novelesk and that sort of bothers me to some extent.
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