One sit up muwahahahahahaha

Today was mostly uneventful, full of nothingness and boredom and filling out more applications. This is the hardest time I've ever had finding a job, I'm not terribly surprised, just mildly worried and terribly annoyed. I worked on Baby Grr's costume some more. She is going to be strawberry shortcake. I started it last night, its almost completely done already. I cheated a bit but oh well, who cares, so long as its cute. I will work on Bubbaloo's hopefully by the weekend, he wants to be the guy from scream. I am also thinking we will go to pick up pumpkins this weekend too and do them. I never try to do them too early because its moist in the air here, thick heavy fog all week long, which I wish I could capture on my camera but since I haven't really touched it in weeks thats probably not going to happen anyways. Man I'm lazy.

But not too lazy to not do my working out. 50 sit ups in under 30 minutes. 20 standing push ups as I have almost no upper body strength and so cant do them on the ground. (I WILL get there though.) 20 squats. 40 clam shells. Tons of stretching. A 1/4 mile run around the block. I would say thats pretty good for A) being a complete fat ass B) being lazy as hell C) stopping all sort of exercising due to getting really sick D) being almost completely inactive almost 4 months ago.

On a bright side, I spoke with The Shoulder today, we are, as always, just fine. We spoke on a topic that isn't mine to fully discuss, though needless to say the advice I gave him was spot on and he choose to ignore it and is now annoyed with the situation at hand. He is such a man. I couldn't help but chuckle on the phone and he, fully knowing I had been correct, just suffered through. I told him to call if he needed to rant and rave any time in the near future. We talked for a couple hours, as we tend to do, and then got off the phone because he was tired and needed sleep for work. We said our goodbyes and I love yous, which felt comfortable, like saying it to a relative. I don't know what to say. I think my head has been muddled through all this, I have many close guy friends, but none, except him, that I tell I love you to, and yet, it doesn't feel awkward or over the top, just a simple declaration of the truth. We love each other but then again, I love my sister and I would say I love The British Man and The British Echo. I love Marmar and The Programer and so many others of my friends. I think, even if SES said he loved me, I could easily say it back, mean it and not be hurt even if his had been a slip of the tongue. I tend to truly love someone, completely and wholeheartedly when I am close to them. A friend is just as close as a family member, maybe even more so, given certain histories. It's nice hearing that I'm loved. Marmar sent it in a text the other day, it made me smile, when The Shoulder said it, it felt just as nice. Everyone needs to hear they are loved every now and then, even if it's just in a more platonic way. It makes everything feel better, even things you didn't think would feel any better, like a broken heart.

Adultly being a kid

I haven't done so much in so little time for awhile. Where to even start. I could do a classic "In the beginning..." maybe a more modern "this is the end, now lets rewind", how about a "Picture it" as Sophia would so affectionately recall. I think I will just start with my hair. That seems like a good place to start. (cue fade to memory music please, thanks)

I had thought I was going to keep it long, and it was long, slowly becoming a butt wiping sensation. I was thinking I would keep it till I went into the recruiter, cut it for charity, something or other of that nature. The problem lies in the fact that it was pretty damaged. On a whole I don't really take tons of extra care of my hair. I just let it be as it will be. The ends were pretty frayed and where the split ended and the rest of the hair began became a blurred line. My hair is naturally a bit wavy but ever since my perm a few years ago it has been massive curly, ridiculously so. I really can't do much with it anymore. I was sitting around on Friday with my friend Marmar, shooting the breeze, trying to decide what to do with our time. Something she said just hit me, it wasn't anything particularly special, and not even related to hair and to be honest I can't even recall what it was. What I do remember is thinking "I kept my hair long because he liked it long and I wanted him to see it long." (The he being the man I am now getting a divorce from) I had been excusing my lack of getting it cut as trying to grow it out till I went to see a recruiter because I wanted it to stay long till I joined and HAD to cut it. Trying to convince myself that I would care if my hair wasn't long anymore because I had no choice in the matter. I realized, in that split second of that non-memorable statement, that I really didn't care if my hair was long or short at this moment. I had been keeping it, and it was literally weighing me down as I have very thick hair and it was exceptionally long at the time, because of some unspoken need to keep something that I had control of but that represented a part of me I hadn't thought was still there, that need to please him to some extent by doing something he liked. She was still talking and I just interjected: "I'm going to cut my hair" "What?" "Yeah" "Now?" "Why not" "Okay" "You don't think I will" "I believe you" "But?" "You are still sitting there" "Good point" At this point I stood and walked out of the room. "Brewski! Where are your hair cutting scissors?" "Why?" "I'm going to cut my hair?" "Would you like me to do it?" "No" I truly believe that when doing something like this you need to do it yourself. I wanted to cut away that part of me, not have someone else do it. Even if it turned out terrible, even if my hair looked a mess and I needed to have it fixed. I would be the one cutting off the part of me that I wanted gone. I stood in the mirror looking at my hair. My last hair cut was pretty terrible and all my hair was uneven to begin with, that made it challenging because I needed some point to start from. I realize I would HAVE to have him help me. So I relented and he cut it just so it was a straight line and then I went to work. I took the scissors and just relentlessly snipped away at strands of hair that had taken months to grow to such lengths, granted my hair grows pretty fast. I mean I can cut my hair up to my chin and have it mid-back in less then a year, so cutting my hair isn't something I'm afraid of. If it sucks, it grows back out, and quickly. If it doesn't, then yay. I stopped trying to measure the lengths so they were the same, my hair curls every time I let go of a strand it curled and looked different then the other side. I soon just found myself enjoying watching the pieces fall into the trash. By the time I was done my hair, which had tickled my crack was now just barely above my breasts, and for cutting my hair for the first time myself, looks pretty damn good, in fact, I've gotten many MANY compliments on it. The best kind too, not just from some other girl, but from guys. Ones I've never met before. I do have to say though, that when I wake in the morning it puffs out and I have total Farrah Fawcett head, not that I'm entirely sure that's a bad thing though, she was worshiped as a sex goddess by many.

That evening I dropped the kids off with their dad for the weekend. It's always weird doing that. It's such conflicting emotions. I miss them because they are my kids and I love them but it's nice to get a complete break since I deal with them ALL THE TIME and usually ALL BY MYSELF. I feel bad that I'm happy they are going but I know that without the breaks I would go completely stark raving mad. I came back and Marmar and I discussed trying to do something this without the kids I could go do something adult for once. I tried calling a coworker of my brother's but he didn't pick up. In the end we figured we could just go visit with her friend in Issaquah. Right as we were getting up to go Mom walked through the door and told us she was going dancing with her friend at Rock Salt but was meeting her at her friends house. We asked if she wanted to just all take one car. We could drop her off and then we could go visit with Marmar's friend and in the morning we would pick her up and come home. Halfway there though I thought dancing sounded like far more fun. Marmar was so apprehensive because she doesn't believe she can dance. I personally think she just needs practice. We decide to go to the club instead. We danced for hours straight, she got asked to dance probably 15 times minimum. I think it was just the ego boost she needed right now and I was more then happy to play her wingman. I don't really care to dance with anyone, I just rather let the music take me. We left at 2 am and as we were walking to the car we were asked by these two men how our evening had been, we stood there talking with them for about 20 minutes and then they offered to buy all three of us something to eat. We tried multiple times to say no but eventually we just gave in and told them yes. So we went to our car with the promise that we would follow them to the diner. As we were getting into the car another group of men asked us if we wanted to follow them as they were heading to a house party. We politely declined, about 5 times, before they would move their car from behind ours. We went to the diner and ordered and sat around chatting for almost two hours. It was a pleasant enough conversation. At four am we got back into the car and I spent the next hour singing Bloodhound Gangs "Wake up you're asleep at the wheel" every time my eyes felt like they were heavy enough to close permanently. I didn't wake till almost noon the next day. I can't even recall the last time I slept till noon, even when I have been sick.

Saturday Marmar wanted to go run some errands, so we got ready and went out to a couple places. A few stores here and there. She got some running shoes, we ate lunch, and we stopped off at Costco. I swear I live there. There isn't many stores in this area that sell fresh foods, a Fred Meyers, Albertsons, and Safeway but except for the Safeway, which is farther away, they are pretty expensive when compared to Costco. Sad as it is, it is far cheaper to go to Costco and let some of the food go to waste then it is to go to any of the other stores and buy in non-bulk, though there isn't half as much food waste here, as there are 5 people eating all the time. However, I'm getting pretty sure Brewski's coworkers are starting to wonder if I'm nuts since I'm there all the time. Since I don't have a job I run errands. I drop Brewski off to work, I get the bread or the milk or the cereal or any other number of items we are low on. I don't particularly mind to be honest, it means I get to look at my brothers very good looking coworker. Who I'm sure is completely creeped out by me and thinks I'm a total stalker. Oh well. I mostly bug him because he was just about the only one I knew. That however has changed, at least a bit. The Welcomer, about a week beforehand, had invited me to go with them to the haunted corn maze. It sounds so very hillbilly, little country bumpkinish but I think, even though I love the city, I really enjoy such things. I was a tad worried though. Brewski wasn't inviting me, his coworker was. I didn't know how he would take it. I tried to get Marmar to go but she decided to go visit her friend we hadn't gone to see the night before. She left after a round of Rockband. Brewski and I went to the maze, it was a complete blast. We stood in line for almost two hours waiting for the haunted maze but though it wasn't terribly scary it was well worth it to watch his coworkers scream bloody murder. I laughed hysterically at Tastes Like Fall. This guy with an ICP looking clown mask followed her for a couple turns because she was so freaked by him at first. He told her he would leave her alone if she just said she loved clowns, unfortunately for her she couldn't hear him over her own screams and her boyfriend was just laughing too much to tell her. So I turned around and said "Just say you love clowns and he will go away" and she responded, in a very scared and loud scream "I LOVE CLOWNS! I LOVE CLOWNS!" and the guy laughed and said bye bye and scampered off back through the corn. It was glorious. I almost peed myself with laughter. I was the only girl who didn't scream or jump, sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't have been born a man. heh. We had some hot chocolate and snacks before going into the bigger non-haunted maze, spent about a hour wandering through that before we finally found the exit. It was so hard to see anything in either maze, it was late, about 10 pm or so before we even got into the haunted maze, walking around in the dark with corn taller then you are blocking out all the light. I found out the spotlight for the camera on my phone is exceedingly bright, ridiculously so, practically a flood light. It was cold out but even though I was wearing Bermuda shorts and a tank top(since it had been warm during the day and I hadn't gotten a chance to change) I wasn't cold till we got between the corn. There was a ton of fog and corn kept it from dissipating, everyone else was getting hot because of the adrenaline from being scared. I unfortunately didn't have that. By the time we got out of the maze my hands were stiff from cold. After the second maze we decided to go home since it was already 12. I didn't fall asleep till 2. I was trying to do my sit ups. They took forever, my body was tired.

Sunday was a far calmer day. I did some laundry and started in on dinner once I woke up. I made Butternut Squash Soup with buttermilk rolls. I decided to roast the veggies in the oven instead of cooking them in the pot with stock like most recipes called for. I figured I would let them all boil together but after they had that first bit of roasting flavor on them. Midway through it all I had to stop and go pick up the kids. I'm hoping that I won't be doing that again any time soon. He should be the one to come pick up the kids if he wishes to see them and I think he realizes that. He even apologized for making me drive them back and forth. We had a nice chat about what we had done during our weekends. It's weird talking to him. In some ways its no different then it was before, we get along and we chat about random stuff and we make jokes to and about each other. We laugh and smile and generally don't have any animosity between us unless the topic of parenting or money comes up, even the later isn't all that bad. However, it doesn't change that we are splitting apart and that can be felt. Sometimes it like we are going to hug, or at least thats what feels like should happen next but we don't, we just stand there awkwardly. Sometimes it feels weird, like we are abruptly ending the conversation because otherwise we could stand there all day shooting the breeze. I mean, for years we spent hours together not even talking, it wouldn't be abnormal to sit in a room with him without talking and feel natural. He was my best friend for years, and even now, we still agree on many things. It seems odd that we can so very much be alike and yet be so completely different. I make little to no effort to talk to him and he makes little to no effort to talk to me but when we are around each other, it's almost this weird pull to talk to each other. Like we just can't ignore one another when the other is near by. Maybe it's just habit now, we have spoken to each other for so long, that it's just something habitual in nature that pulls at us. Sometimes it's nice knowing we can speak to one another, I prefer it that way, I don't want to think we would be at each others throats all the time but sometimes, sometimes I wish it was hard, or that we would be nasty and mean, so that it could be completely done with.

My legs were so sore this morning. Dancing, standing around for hours, walking around doing errands, running around the block, using them for clam shells and sit ups. I did a lot of working out this weekend, even if it wasn't conventional. Sometimes I think I see a difference, sometimes I'm not so sure. I should go buy a scale but that will just have to wait till I get a job I suppose. Something I am desperately looking for. The problem of the kids not being watched still exists right now but I'm hoping it will get sorted out soon. I'm not looking forward to not having money for food or gas or insurance next month. It's scary thinking I might not be able to make all my payments on time. I'm already in for enough. Sometimes it's so much fun being an adult, you get to do so many new and fun things, and yet sometimes being an adult just blows.

What can I say

I have been depressed. It's pretty clearly obvious.

First I got sick. I spent two - three weeks feeling terrible, coughing up gunk and having pressure headaches. It went around the house, the kids got sick too, first in fact, but not as badly as I. I am always thankful for that, it is so much worse being sick and then dealing with someone more sick then you who needs constant attention and complains ten times more. They are children, I understand that, but it doesn't make the situation any easier, specially when you yourself want constant attention and want to complain all the time, heh. The biggest problem with the cold is that is wiped my strength, I did NO exercising and such minimal studying it's pathetic. I fell behind on where I wanted to be and it killed my drive and resolve to some extent.

Second I still have yet to find a job. I was so very lucky with my last one, where they made amends for my weird schedule that happened because of the kids. The problem now is that I don't have someone who is definitely going to watch the kids for the weekend, so I can't really put weekend hours on there. No one wants to hire someone who can't work weekends. It's such a catch 22. Just like getting babysitting help from the dshs. I can't get the help unless I get a job, I can't get a job unless I have someone to watch Baby Grr. I wish they had a program that gave babysitting for say a month or two so someone could find the time to LOOK for a job, but apparently that makes no sense... none at all. I hate having to ask for help like that but it's starting to look pretty bleak here.

I would like to say that my ex-sister-in-law once said something I truly believe in and was happy to be reminded of (we all lose our ability to see truth every now and then); that people are in our lives at the time and place they are in them for a reason. I have found that now, more then ever, I see that. The Marine came into our lives right when there was a need for a male role model for Bubbaloo. I will never be able to thank him enough for that. I am in such a great debt to him for it that it seems overwhelming, even if Bubbaloo didn't completely take everything away from it he could, The Marine was there at just the right moment. So too I think The Shoulder has been and I think it is in this that many miscalculations have been made. I love The Shoulder, he is by far one of my dearest friends, but I am not in love with him by any means. We ran into each other right when I needed someone like him in my life the most. He and I understand each other in a way that is beyond all the norms. Almost like a twin. In this he was more correct then I and I think I've only been able to truly see that now with the distance put between us. I probably owe him some sort of apology. I am not entirely sure what I am supposed to be sorry for though. Mixed up feelings from all thats been going on? Giving him guff when it was unneeded, probably. I'm sure he will understand though, in fact I'm more then sure.

On a side note, I have slowly been getting back into working out. I was wiped from the cold but I believe it was the depression from all the stress that really shut me down. I want to join. I can see myself being happy as a soldier. What I can't seem to envision is how I'm going to get there. I need to find my drive again. I lost it somewhere in all the mess that my life has become but it's still there, nagging at the back of my mind, reminding me how I'm failing to become what I want to be. I have been running again, just around the block, getting my fat ass moving. On top of that I've been doing sit ups. I swore I couldn't do a single one. I did 50 yesterday and I wasn't even sore afterwards. I just stopped because it was a bit late and I needed to sleep. I took them slowly though, did them in about a hour or so but still 50 is 50 more then I even thought I could do. Sometimes I clearly amaze myself. The problem is the difference between amazing myself and pushing myself. I need to get back into pushing myself. I need to wake up one morning with a sense of renewal or something Hallmarky like that.

Getting the ball bouncing

I've been running recently. I've been meaning to run anyways but it feels good to get into something. I have found I actually enjoy it. I thought I would hate it, I've never really been big on running before but since I'm doing this to achieve my goal it doesn't feel like the chore it once did. I find I can make it almost entirely around the block with minimal stopping, and my stops are pretty short, I walk about ten steps and then get back into the run. Gotta start somewhere. Except for the run, I haven't worked out in a couple days, I was doing paperwork and made my room a complete disaster, one which I have yet to completely sort through. I plan on working out tonight, I asked my mother if she would like to do some with me, and she agreed, maybe she and I can do some bonding over such things.

Yesterday was a good day. I went and ran errands with my mom, We got the cloth for the chair covers and for the kids Halloween costumes. Baby Grr has decided on being the new Strawberry Shortcake and Bubbaloo wants to be the guy from Scream. We then went to Fred Meyers, I have wanted for years now to work in the bakery department of any store or in a bakery itself. I have never had the chance but we happened to walk by, even though it was out of our way to what we needed to get, I would say it was fate, they are looking for a new baker. When I asked about job positions in the bakery, they practically jumped at me with huge smiles. I applied online last night and got the call this morning for an interview this afternoon. I'm excited. I hope it doesn't show too much, I don't want to just give away any chance of getting maybe a tiny bit more then minimum. It is an early shift after all. That evening my brother, my mother and I were all doing some cleaning downstairs, we spent the evening laughing and joking and speaking to one another like grown adults. It's so rare when that happens and I really enjoyed myself, it would be nice if the whole living together experience could be more like that and less like what it has been like so far.

I miss The Shoulder to pieces, he is only a hour away, it feels like so much more, like the world is between us. We aren't even dating, what silly feelings to be having and yet they are there, and when he text me earlier I couldn't help but grin uncontrollably. It seems only natural to miss him to such an extent.

Spent the morning getting the rest of the divorce paperwork done, it's amazing how final that makes things feel. I'm glad this is getting sorted, its tiring always feeling like you are waiting for your life to begin again.

I will go to my interview and I will come home and make dinner and then I shall wait for the ball to stop rolling and to start bouncing.

Destroyed in seconds

It's amazingly unfair how one person can make you feel utterly worthless. For years I tried everything to make him see me, to want to be there when we went places, to want to even go there in the first place. Years of always asking, always trying, always pushing. I can recount, on my hands, the amount of times we went out. Family outings were almost next to none, it was as if he really didn't care if he was around us or not, or maybe, he just didn't care if he was around me. It's hard to say, the effort he is now making with the kids seems minimal to me, fighting over me trying to GIVE him the right to see his children. He doesn't seem to CARE if he does, I shouldn't care that he goes out with other people, that he spends him time doing all the things I always asked of him to do with me. Yet it still hurts, wasn't I good enough? You slept with me, had kids with me, made a life with me, but spending actual time with me, that, by far, was too much? I never thought I would even think that the last ten years was a waste and yet he so clearly demonstrates how much he thought it was and though I know there is a large difference between taking the kids out for one weekend of fun and a lifetime of doing things together, I can so plainly see the disparaging gap between what we did together for so many years and what it is he does with his time now. I don't want to care how he spends it, and for the most part I don't dwell on it. It's hard to ignore when other people point it out though. It's unseemly to weep for something I know I will no longer have, for something I really no longer want, with the way I was so crudely tossed aside, but the fact of the matter is that it still bites, hard and deep, and rips at wounds that haven't entirely healed, just scabbed over.

Randomization

I smell like a taco. More specifically a corn tortilla. Not that it doesn't seem mildly fitting but still not entirely the impression I wish to portray. Can't you just see it:

Me: "Hi"

Whoever: "Hello"

Me: "Nice weather we are having."

Whoever: "It's raining."

Me: "I know, I like the rain."

Whoever: "Uh huh"

Me: "Okay well have a nice day"

Whoever: "You too" turns to friend "Was it just me or did she smell like tortillas?"

Friend: "Yeah I was just thinking that."

I already seem crazy enough with my nice weather comment on rain, I don't need any help from strange smells. Sure, I love tacos, I think they are just plain Good Eats. The smell of the sauted onions (I can't make the accent mark ;-;) and garlic, the browning of the meat, wonderful smells, even better flavors. I made tacos the other night, in fact. I just don't want to smell like one.

So why do I? Well a couple months ago I bought this soap set:

and most of the scents I've rather enjoyed, one of them I had a weird skin reaction to,

broke out in a rash on my arm, but thats neither here nor there. Ones like Apricot & Honey

or Fig & Pear were wonderful. I tried using the scents I cared for least at the beginning, I

suppose I missed one. Mandarin & Bergamot. I think the other scents next to it hid the true

scent of it when I smelled it, kept thinking it smelt something good, WRONG. If not for the

fact that it would be wasteful to throw it out, I would. I don't need to smell like a corn tortilla,

no one does. Oh well, at least the next one is Coconut & Cocoa Butter, and then onto

Citrus & Ginger.

_______________________________________

So errand day today, running to and fro, looking for my head, all sorts of good things. Not

really, mostly just a trip to the post office and going to Bubbaloo's new school. They were

terribly helpful, nice, didn't rip off their human disguises to reveal a slimy green alien being

who believes human head a delicacy, such a plus. I hope he feels at home there, I want him

to enjoy his school since he actually loves learning right now, I don't want it to go away due

to bad experiences.

The post office was pleasant. Small but smelled of newness. I believe it looked even nicer

then the one in Bellevue, which is weird, seeing as it is something like the 5th richest city

in Washington. Maybe the people here just value their mail more, even though most of it

is junk. There were only two mailmen behind the counter but they were exceedingly

helpful, did not at all look like they would be coming in with semi-autos any time soon.

We went to Fred Meyers and bought the last of the school supplies. I swear that every

store has been out of almost anything resembling items on the school lists. I could not find,

and still didn't, plain ol' pink erasers. I ended up with these girly looking pink and purple

swirl ones for Bubbaloo. It was a complete run on pencils and such and I saw these two

ladies fighting over a particular notebook for their respective daughters. I'm not entirely

sure why people get so bent over things that are going to be lost, traded or destroyed in

just a couple weeks time. YAY FOR BESTING A WOMAN IN THE ISLE OF THE LOCAL

STORE OVER JUNK, surely the peasants rejoiced.

The kids were unbelievably good today. Sitting quietly when only told once, reading books

in the corner as I filled out paperwork. Asking just a couple questions, always saying please,

thank you and excuse me. I was astounded. I swear, someone came and stole them in the

middle of the night and replaced them with robots. However because of their excellent

behavior I decided to treat them, mind you good behavior isn't always treated, it's a random

occurrence, so I have reminded them that the more often they are good, the more likely a

treat is to be had, they seemed rather thoughtful of this notion. I digress. Anyways, Dairy

Queen is right next to the school so I took them there since they get a treat with their kid

meal. I have to say, for a fast food chain this one looked more like a sit down restaurant.

Clean, smelled nice, had new fancy tile which cost more then my car I'm sure. I was highly

impressed with just the look of it and I'm sure I will go back again. (I shall try to remember

to take pictures of it next time I do) What killed me though was when they handed me a

number card and then ten minutes later they brought the food to our table. Granted

sometimes places like Pizza Hut do that but I've never seen a fast food burger chain doing

such things. It was a refreshing twist. I have to say though, for them to be able to do that it

would seem they don't garner a great deal of business, I know its a small community and all

but still.

My abs are a bit achy, I have worked out the last two nights this week which I am happy

about but I haven't studied at all, which I'm annoyed with myself for. I need to get back into

doing it and stop being lazy. I could do some right now, I think I just might, that or I will get

offline and go piddle around and not get much of anything done anyways.

Life in boxes

Moving sucks. Everything gets tossed around, all your stuff is pushed to the side, everything you've been working on goes on the back burner. I'm sort of done. I finished my apartment, the packing, the cleaning, the walk through. Now I've been trying to get the rooms in the new place situated, the kids and my own, though the kids more so then mine because I don't want Bubbaloo to start school and then the first day be running around piles of stuff just laying about their room. Its amazing how much junk they have for two little kids. I've been so busy I've done little else with my time except laundry. So much laundry. That's pretty much why I've been MIA. Three weeks of nothing but packing and cleaning and unpacking, though only a few things here or there because not everything can be unpacked, in fact most things will be kept in boxes.

I haven't done much studying or working out, I should be, but I'm just so tired at the end of most days, it just doesn't happen. I'm hoping to get back into it tonight and keep up with it for the next two weeks so I can go speak with the recruiter.

I started a bunch of letters and they too have been neglected, if I owe you one, I apologize, I have been very busy. On the topic of keeping in touch with people, so many people ask me about Facebook. I would just like to make this clear once and for all. I do not have one, I shall never have one. I believe Facebook is from the devil, not literally of course, I'm not so sure he knows how to code, but it's mostly made up of drama llamas and whores and usually it's the same person. I'm too tired to bother with any more nonsense.

On a side note, I finished the four paintings that I gave as thank yous to the apartment managers and the maintenance man.

The Falls by ~Katalalyn on deviantART

Purple Winter by ~Katalalyn on deviantART

Moon Wave by ~Katalalyn on deviantART

The Calm by ~Katalalyn on deviantART